I'll make some stuff that'll keep, just in case. [ In case he's gone again, in case he's gone forever. He's seen people leave, going back to the sea, and he doesn't want to do that, not now, but he might not have a choice. That scares him, if he lets himself think about it too much.
But what Blue said is still rattling around in his head. He looks up at Blue again, still weaker than he should be, his body tired from blood loss, his mind exhausted from the sheer horror and nothingness of those day in the tower.
He wets his lips before asking: ]
Does it bother you? Flynn and me?
[ Because now that he's thinking about it, that must be pretty annoying to have to hear all the time. A relationship that Yuri doesn't even know what it is, and he's in it. ]
[the question and what leads to it paints a strained expression on Blue's face. a little hurt, but not solely because of the question.]
It doesn't. You don't. The only bothersome thing is knowing...I have no place there. Because of my nature, because of yours.
It's...differences we cannot reconcile. And I will not...resent either of you for it. No more than I can resent myself. [his mouth pulls briefly on one side.] And I am too old...to start doing that now.
[ He really can't imagine being in Trench without Blue. Even with Flynn, it would be lonely, strange. Blue's opened up his mind, in more ways than one, helped him when he was afraid of what he would do, to others, to himself. ]
The differences-- that we can't hear your thoughts?
I guess, yeah. I... [ He wrinkles his nose, not really wanting to say this, but it's right there ] You could tell us. What you're thinking. I know it's not the same, but that's what you just said, right? It's better if we don't have to guess. And it would, y'know, be more fair, if that's what you're worried about.
But, hey, you don't have to. I'm grateful that you're here, too. [ It is easier, with Blue, to say stuff like that. Blue already probably knows anyway, so what's verbalizing it? Blue was his friend friend in Trench, the first person who took care of him after Flynn's death, a person who wants to stick by him and who is he to say anything about that? ] You have a place here as long as you want it.
[that's just it, isn't it? even though Blue can perceive the thoughts - especially the ones involving Blue himself - it means more to hear them aloud. because that's how it works for humans, and that...means more than simply thinking on them.
it means Yuri is making more of an effort to care.
Blue's smile loses some of that sad tinge, warmed by those words.]
I know it...bothers you. Speaking in this way. So that you went out of your way... [he looks up.] Thank you. I'm grateful you're here. And...I'm sorry I couldn't find you. [he holds up his hand before there can be a chance to dismiss it.] Though I know...it was a long shot. I know you would've tried just as hard...if our positions were reversed.
[ Yuri does want to protest, but, well. He just nods, smiling a little. It always takes him by surprise, when people want to take care of him. It's uncomfortable, strange, but also... nice. Really nice. ]
Yeah, I would. It's... [ Not "fine" but ] I'm just glad it wasn't you, or Flynn. I dunno what this place has against me, but, hell. I'll keep fighting as long as I have to.
[ It settles in him, and it's not like he questioned that Blue cared about him, but it always takes him by surprise, that people do care. When he's presented with the reality, that people want him to be safe and happy, that they'll sacrifice their own safety for his. It's strange, but not unwelcome, and at least Blue doesn't smack him for it like Brave Vesperia does.
He lets out a heavy sigh ]
Man, I'll try. No promises. [ Staying still, these days, isn't a talent of his. It never really was, even when he stuck around the lower quarter: he was still always doing something, helping someone, doing some errand or another. ] Maybe... Maybe I'll just cook a lot. Anything you want, I'll try to make it.
[ At least that sounds fun, for him. Keep his hands and his mind busy, so he can't fall back into thinking about what happened to him ]
[ It's not that he forgot about Blue's life, back where he's from, but maybe he didn't fully understand it, understand what Blue had to do to survive. ]
Man, and you really liked Flynn's food? Jeez, alright. I mean, I'll still cook for you, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna cook like that.
Honestly? Yeah. Half the time it isn't even edible. I never cooked, never cared about it, but Flynn would cook and it was just so bad, Blue. We didn't have enough food to make more, so I had to eat it. I learned how to cook so he would just stop.
[ Stop cooking garbage, stop wasting their precious food ]
Right? [ Yuri laughs, deciding not to bother taking this all too seriously. ] But, hey. It probably made him pretty happy that you like his food, right? I dunno. Power to you both, I guess.
[hearing Yuri laugh is a balm, easing some of Blue's own worries beneath the surface. losing these two so close together in time...it was rattling, but Blue had to keep a strong front for those who remained at any given time.
more than anything, he doesn't want a repeat of that separation.]
I think food from the both of you...is wonderful. I will not complain one way or the other.
Thanks, Blue. I'm just glad you don't have to eat-- whatever it was you were eating before.
[ Talking of normal things, like food, like making fun of Flynn, it does make him feel better, less pained from the last few days. It's easier to be normal, to pretend that everything is normal, because he's not ready yet, not ready to deal with it. ]
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But what Blue said is still rattling around in his head. He looks up at Blue again, still weaker than he should be, his body tired from blood loss, his mind exhausted from the sheer horror and nothingness of those day in the tower.
He wets his lips before asking: ]
Does it bother you? Flynn and me?
[ Because now that he's thinking about it, that must be pretty annoying to have to hear all the time. A relationship that Yuri doesn't even know what it is, and he's in it. ]
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It doesn't. You don't. The only bothersome thing is knowing...I have no place there. Because of my nature, because of yours.
It's...differences we cannot reconcile. And I will not...resent either of you for it. No more than I can resent myself. [his mouth pulls briefly on one side.] And I am too old...to start doing that now.
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[ He really can't imagine being in Trench without Blue. Even with Flynn, it would be lonely, strange. Blue's opened up his mind, in more ways than one, helped him when he was afraid of what he would do, to others, to himself. ]
The differences-- that we can't hear your thoughts?
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It's unfair to you two. And myself, in some way... But if I were alone...I'd be truly lost.
I'm grateful...that you two...accept me. I wish other Mu could...feel this acceptance.
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But, hey, you don't have to. I'm grateful that you're here, too. [ It is easier, with Blue, to say stuff like that. Blue already probably knows anyway, so what's verbalizing it? Blue was his friend friend in Trench, the first person who took care of him after Flynn's death, a person who wants to stick by him and who is he to say anything about that? ] You have a place here as long as you want it.
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it means Yuri is making more of an effort to care.
Blue's smile loses some of that sad tinge, warmed by those words.]
I know it...bothers you. Speaking in this way. So that you went out of your way... [he looks up.] Thank you. I'm grateful you're here. And...I'm sorry I couldn't find you. [he holds up his hand before there can be a chance to dismiss it.] Though I know...it was a long shot. I know you would've tried just as hard...if our positions were reversed.
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Yeah, I would. It's... [ Not "fine" but ] I'm just glad it wasn't you, or Flynn. I dunno what this place has against me, but, hell. I'll keep fighting as long as I have to.
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And...you'll have a place to come back to. Someplace safe.
[Blue can try to make sure of that, can't he? that must be within his power.
and that'll never go poorly.]You should stay in for a while. You look...very worn. [like shit honestly.]
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[ It settles in him, and it's not like he questioned that Blue cared about him, but it always takes him by surprise, that people do care. When he's presented with the reality, that people want him to be safe and happy, that they'll sacrifice their own safety for his. It's strange, but not unwelcome, and at least Blue doesn't smack him for it like Brave Vesperia does.
He lets out a heavy sigh ]
Man, I'll try. No promises. [ Staying still, these days, isn't a talent of his. It never really was, even when he stuck around the lower quarter: he was still always doing something, helping someone, doing some errand or another. ] Maybe... Maybe I'll just cook a lot. Anything you want, I'll try to make it.
[ At least that sounds fun, for him. Keep his hands and his mind busy, so he can't fall back into thinking about what happened to him ]
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[editor add in the horror movie violin screeches.]
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He worried this day would come. He has to steer Blue back toward the light ] What, uh... what did he show you?
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...Sauces to flavor meat. Yuri, why are you so concerned so suddenly?
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[ He's worried about you, Blue. And your tastebuds. And your stomach. ]
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Neither of us perished after so many meals.
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[ Yuri contemplates him for a long moment ]
What'd you eat, y'know, before here?
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...We had synthesized materials with...the nutrients necessary. Mostly in paste concoctions.
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Ugh. That sounds awful.
[ Which is... probably why he likes Flynn's food ]
You really ate that? All the time?
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[ It's not that he forgot about Blue's life, back where he's from, but maybe he didn't fully understand it, understand what Blue had to do to survive. ]
Man, and you really liked Flynn's food? Jeez, alright. I mean, I'll still cook for you, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna cook like that.
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[ Stop cooking garbage, stop wasting their precious food ]
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How strange...that something can taste so different...to two people... [this is not an issue when everyone has no choice but to eat space goop.]
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[ He still won't eat it ]
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more than anything, he doesn't want a repeat of that separation.]
I think food from the both of you...is wonderful. I will not complain one way or the other.
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[ Talking of normal things, like food, like making fun of Flynn, it does make him feel better, less pained from the last few days. It's easier to be normal, to pretend that everything is normal, because he's not ready yet, not ready to deal with it. ]
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