[he withdraws his hand gently as a means of relenting just a little bit, but not entirely.
while folding his hands in his lap, eyes downcast toward them:] Our first proper encounter. Braccia. I had...only been awake a handful of days. Everything...was so confusing. Disorienting. So many strange, new things...vibrant minds... I definitely wasn't prepared for any of it.
[he looks back over, his smile a little soberer.]
I would've been in a great deal of trouble...had you not helped me out then. Despite the frustration I had caused you at the onset. [and before he can scoff and cut in:] Though I know that hardly matters to you, because you were focused on taking care of everyone, frustrating or not.
You're right about that, of course it hardly matters to me!
[ ... ]
But it's not like I can't say the same thing, even though I didn't have the luxury of being new to how things worked on missions and within our team. Strange new things still find me surprisingly unprepared, I'll admit.
[ He crosses his arms, thinking back to what Blue said about trust, Viveca... those hurts from his own universe making it so hard for him to believe in her. ]
Even back home, when it comes to the Naturals; determination, preparedness for anything, and the willingness to adapt. I have that all, too! But even back there, it's something everybody is working on.
[ Memory of a feeling comes through, Yzak speaking to his comrades, wishing to understand how they came to the conclusion that they did to fight to end the war on their own terms, that the future was not for Naturals or Coordinators, but both. "I don't understand how you came to that conclusion, so I've decided to search for it myself." ]
[his expression warms, listening, taking in the reasoning behind his words.]
That adaptability... I admire it in humans. In you. It gets a little hard to change...when you've been alive for so long, living the same circumstances.
You'll have to help me along a while more...when it gets hard to adjust.
[ It's a simple statement, but it means so much. Even some of the smallest changes can be just as hard to adjust to as the bigger ones. And Yzak himself trips up on many of those small ones, still. ]
I can at least offer to do what I'm able to, on that front. Because while I have only the best end-result in mind, I'm not ruling out coming across hardship myself.
But it's like those decorations we put up earlier.
[ God damn it he just said he's prepared for anything and that's already being tested with this softness. So with a light spike of warmth that he doesn't know what to do with otherwise, he flusters ever so slightly. ]
Who wouldn't be pleased to hear something like that!?
[ He says, admitting it in his own weird, roundabout way. But the feeling that comes along with it is a very clear, obvious yes that he knows he can't cover up like this. ]
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-as well as the way he easily deflates from it when Blue continues.
And he can never brush off a compliment, so. ]
Well, I've got plenty of those. [ Good qualities. ]
When do you mean, exactly? By back then?
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while folding his hands in his lap, eyes downcast toward them:] Our first proper encounter. Braccia. I had...only been awake a handful of days. Everything...was so confusing. Disorienting. So many strange, new things...vibrant minds... I definitely wasn't prepared for any of it.
[he looks back over, his smile a little soberer.]
I would've been in a great deal of trouble...had you not helped me out then. Despite the frustration I had caused you at the onset. [and before he can scoff and cut in:] Though I know that hardly matters to you, because you were focused on taking care of everyone, frustrating or not.
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[ ... ]
But it's not like I can't say the same thing, even though I didn't have the luxury of being new to how things worked on missions and within our team. Strange new things still find me surprisingly unprepared, I'll admit.
[ He crosses his arms, thinking back to what Blue said about trust, Viveca... those hurts from his own universe making it so hard for him to believe in her. ]
Even back home, when it comes to the Naturals; determination, preparedness for anything, and the willingness to adapt. I have that all, too! But even back there, it's something everybody is working on.
[ Memory of a feeling comes through, Yzak speaking to his comrades, wishing to understand how they came to the conclusion that they did to fight to end the war on their own terms, that the future was not for Naturals or Coordinators, but both. "I don't understand how you came to that conclusion, so I've decided to search for it myself." ]
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That adaptability... I admire it in humans. In you. It gets a little hard to change...when you've been alive for so long, living the same circumstances.
You'll have to help me along a while more...when it gets hard to adjust.
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[ It's a simple statement, but it means so much. Even some of the smallest changes can be just as hard to adjust to as the bigger ones. And Yzak himself trips up on many of those small ones, still. ]
I can at least offer to do what I'm able to, on that front. Because while I have only the best end-result in mind, I'm not ruling out coming across hardship myself.
But it's like those decorations we put up earlier.
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[Blue looks a little puzzled. is he making an analogy in some way? he's not sure he sees it.]
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So I'll help you along when I can. But there are things I'll probably end up needing assistance with as well, as we continue on this mission.
[ He admits that, but then quickly adds: ]
...
Though, I'm sure it won't be much. [ All hot air there. ]
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I understand what you're saying, Yzak. If my abilities...are useful to you, then you'll have them.
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Although I assumed as much regardless! It's not as if we haven't been doing that already.
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Being able to add to that bit of happiness in you...[nod.] That's what I want to do.
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Who wouldn't be pleased to hear something like that!?
[ He says, admitting it in his own weird, roundabout way. But the feeling that comes along with it is a very clear, obvious yes that he knows he can't cover up like this. ]
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Then...I'll do my best. To understand...what does make you happy. Even if you don't say it.
It's the least I can do.