[Blue's a bit heartened to see Itachi take a seat - it's practically his seat, given the frequency of his use of it! he looks over with that same thoughtful expression, nodding.]
It's what I'm coming to learn...in learning about the worlds of others. Places of remarkable gifts...and abilities... They seem bound to places and people...who face terrible trials and conflict. [correlation isn't causation, but it does make one think.] I cannot say it's inevitable... Only quite common for our small sample size.
（ it's not like he t-tolerates your existence or anything, b-baka. ）
Humans on my planet warred long before we had chakra. It has nothing to do with our abilities.
（ and something he imagines holds true across worlds, across any amount of skill or ability. humans cannot possibly be the only selfish, petty, hurtful creatures that exist across universes one and sundry. ）
But it would stand to reason that those who are adjacent to conflict and loss would likewise hold their share of regrets.
（ he has had more access to history than most ever have the opportunity to know. he is aware of some things, but not all. the sage of six paths is still known by those who care to know. ）
I do not know the specifics — only that there was a being that granted it to us.
（ he cannot say whether or not chakra has created more problems than it has solved. however... ）
What I do know is that the Sage of Six Paths was venerated in his time. He was the first practitioner and teacher of ninshu, a belief that peace could be achieved through the connections chakra would grant us, an ability to see each other's true intentions without needing to communicate.
（ for a guy who said he didn't know the specifics, he seems to know a bit more than the basics. that's a perfectionist for you. also, there is a faint touch of dry irony to his tone — perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar, blue? ）
I do not know if he was human. It is said he is descended from the gods — but that may be hyperbole common to legends.
（ he drags a hand through his hair — it is odd to be without his headband, but there is little reason to wear it when he is not on a mission. still, he remains conscious of its absence no matter how long it has been. ）
He is my direct ancestor. The father of the progenitor of my clan.
Such blood would have been immeasurably diluted by the time of my birth — generations of interbreeding with humans — if the legend of godhood is even to be believed. It is more likely that he was simply a powerful man around whom mythology sprang. In any case, the Sage of Six Paths lived over a millennia ago. And I am no more or less remarkable than any other in my world would be with sufficient knowledge and training.
（ it isn't even humility, or some attempt at deflection. he was dedicated, and that was what drove him forwards — but itachi never saw himself as remarkable the way his father crowed about. that's my boy— it may have been meant as praise, but it always felt a little like a garrote. some attempt of his father's to take credit for the things he did or learned on his own. like the phrase was a knife by which he could pin itachi to his own shadow. sasuke had tried so very hard to inspire it even as itachi came to abhor it.
but that is an old resentment, burned to ash by the very last time they spoke. you truly are— ）
[lineage. bloodlines. things like that...they're long outdated in the society Blue was born in. what matters most for the SD government is finding the most efficient and ideal traits to breed between people...something the machines are beginning to identify themselves, now creating humans from complete scratch.
Blue's gaze drifts away as he ruminates on these things, simply musing aloud:] There must have been a time...a long time ago...before humans left the Earth...when they, too, had such beliefs. Not of powers...but of promise...
（ it is difficult to say. what they know of each other's worlds is still very limited, though blue has painted a picture that — to him — is considerably worse than his own. war, pain, death, hatred, all those things are normal to him. but the control that blue has spoken of, the revocation of free will... it is an eerie echo of the hand danzō kept on his throat. he knows better than to say humans would not be susceptible to such a thing. when he was younger, he told himself that every choice he made was his own, but now...
now he can look back on what was asked of him, and feel sorrow for the boy he was once, who truly felt he had no other choice. ）
I do not think any cycle of power is meant to last forever. One day humans may overcome them in your world.
Yet... [Blue draws and sighs out his next breath as he sits back against his pillows, eyes flicking upward briefly.] Chasing endlessness...seems to be a common dream. Or affliction. [depending on how one views it.]
Though we may see something otherwise...wherever it is we next are deployed, hm.
We should be hearing about our next mission soon, yes?
（ he hasn't been here long enough to establish patterns for himself, but this month has felt like an aberration in many ways, and he has read through the backlogs on the network. ）
[Blue's brow knits briefly as he closes his eyes.]
I'm going to try. I will meet with the doctor...to gain his perspective. To...better frame what it is I can still do.
[he'll do it but he'll hate it, alright? boxing himself into smaller and smaller spaces, having to relent all because of a body that won't go as far as he wills is...well. it's not great.]
Should the venture...involve as much subconscious work as before...then I should still be of use.
（ it's distinctly, painfully familiar. to view one's self as only a tool, the sum of whatever awesome abilities they may have at hand.
there is little he hates more than being vulnerable. sickness made him so, though he hid it an every turn — well aware that sharks can smell blood. if kisame guessed he was dying, he never spoke of it. yet, like a bone that must be broken to be re-set, some things must be... tolerated.
this could, potentially, be a dangerous conversation. he has a keen awareness of such things, a finely-honed sense of awareness to anything that may set some play in motion over which he has little control. blue had been the one to push him to examine what it would truly mean to change, and he is falling back on the realization that he must open himself to accept new experiences if he is to survive the winnowing of his regrets. ）
[Blue looks over once more, unable to keep from trying to probe a bit of intention out of that question - to try to discern the shades of feeling that prompt the question Itachi asks. it's pure instinct, really - wanting to understand.]
It isn't. [a slight shake of his head.] But...it's the most important view. To me.
（ his own thoughts run too parallel to blue's to be of any benefit. but he can recognize how little it matters now, to be useful. shisui would have gone to the ends of the earth for him — and did, at the last. naruto would do the same for sasuke. use is a part of the picture, but not the entirety of it. ）
You are the first person in a decade I have spoken honestly with. （ not about everything. but it's more than anyone else has seen of him here. ） That has nothing to do with being useful — yet it does have value to me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It's what I'm coming to learn...in learning about the worlds of others. Places of remarkable gifts...and abilities... They seem bound to places and people...who face terrible trials and conflict. [correlation isn't causation, but it does make one think.] I cannot say it's inevitable... Only quite common for our small sample size.
no subject
Humans on my planet warred long before we had chakra. It has nothing to do with our abilities.
（ and something he imagines holds true across worlds, across any amount of skill or ability. humans cannot possibly be the only selfish, petty, hurtful creatures that exist across universes one and sundry. ）
But it would stand to reason that those who are adjacent to conflict and loss would likewise hold their share of regrets.
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（ he has had more access to history than most ever have the opportunity to know. he is aware of some things, but not all. the sage of six paths is still known by those who care to know. ）
I do not know the specifics — only that there was a being that granted it to us.
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So I imagine...you also don't know...the giver's intentions, do you.
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What I do know is that the Sage of Six Paths was venerated in his time. He was the first practitioner and teacher of ninshu, a belief that peace could be achieved through the connections chakra would grant us, an ability to see each other's true intentions without needing to communicate.
（ for a guy who said he didn't know the specifics, he seems to know a bit more than the basics. that's a perfectionist for you. also, there is a faint touch of dry irony to his tone — perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar, blue? ）
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Someone...a human...truly wanted that? To understand others without words or signs...
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（ he drags a hand through his hair — it is odd to be without his headband, but there is little reason to wear it when he is not on a mission. still, he remains conscious of its absence no matter how long it has been. ）
He is my direct ancestor. The father of the progenitor of my clan.
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Would that mean...you and yours would be descended from much the same, then? Are you...more than human, yourself?
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（ he lifts one shoulder in an elegant shrug. ）
Such blood would have been immeasurably diluted by the time of my birth — generations of interbreeding with humans — if the legend of godhood is even to be believed. It is more likely that he was simply a powerful man around whom mythology sprang. In any case, the Sage of Six Paths lived over a millennia ago. And I am no more or less remarkable than any other in my world would be with sufficient knowledge and training.
（ it isn't even humility, or some attempt at deflection. he was dedicated, and that was what drove him forwards — but itachi never saw himself as remarkable the way his father crowed about. that's my boy— it may have been meant as praise, but it always felt a little like a garrote. some attempt of his father's to take credit for the things he did or learned on his own. like the phrase was a knife by which he could pin itachi to his own shadow. sasuke had tried so very hard to inspire it even as itachi came to abhor it.
but that is an old resentment, burned to ash by the very last time they spoke. you truly are— ）
no subject
Blue's gaze drifts away as he ruminates on these things, simply musing aloud:] There must have been a time...a long time ago...before humans left the Earth...when they, too, had such beliefs. Not of powers...but of promise...
no subject
（ it is difficult to say. what they know of each other's worlds is still very limited, though blue has painted a picture that — to him — is considerably worse than his own. war, pain, death, hatred, all those things are normal to him. but the control that blue has spoken of, the revocation of free will... it is an eerie echo of the hand danzō kept on his throat. he knows better than to say humans would not be susceptible to such a thing. when he was younger, he told himself that every choice he made was his own, but now...
now he can look back on what was asked of him, and feel sorrow for the boy he was once, who truly felt he had no other choice. ）
I do not think any cycle of power is meant to last forever. One day humans may overcome them in your world.
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Though we may see something otherwise...wherever it is we next are deployed, hm.
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（ he hasn't been here long enough to establish patterns for himself, but this month has felt like an aberration in many ways, and he has read through the backlogs on the network. ）
Will you be all right?
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I'm going to try. I will meet with the doctor...to gain his perspective. To...better frame what it is I can still do.
[he'll do it but he'll hate it, alright? boxing himself into smaller and smaller spaces, having to relent all because of a body that won't go as far as he wills is...well. it's not great.]
Should the venture...involve as much subconscious work as before...then I should still be of use.
no subject
You speak often of your use to others.
（ it's distinctly, painfully familiar. to view one's self as only a tool, the sum of whatever awesome abilities they may have at hand.
there is little he hates more than being vulnerable. sickness made him so, though he hid it an every turn — well aware that sharks can smell blood. if kisame guessed he was dying, he never spoke of it. yet, like a bone that must be broken to be re-set, some things must be... tolerated.
this could, potentially, be a dangerous conversation. he has a keen awareness of such things, a finely-honed sense of awareness to anything that may set some play in motion over which he has little control. blue had been the one to push him to examine what it would truly mean to change, and he is falling back on the realization that he must open himself to accept new experiences if he is to survive the winnowing of his regrets. ）
Is that the only way you see yourself?
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It isn't. [a slight shake of his head.] But...it's the most important view. To me.
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（ yes, that is a reprimand. you fool. ）
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Do you think...that is what matters most? It may be well and fine...should I feel it...that value... but it isn't always what matters at the time.
Whether or not...my value is perceived...one way or another...I still have to move...within my nature.
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（ his own thoughts run too parallel to blue's to be of any benefit. but he can recognize how little it matters now, to be useful. shisui would have gone to the ends of the earth for him — and did, at the last. naruto would do the same for sasuke. use is a part of the picture, but not the entirety of it. ）
You are the first person in a decade I have spoken honestly with. （ not about everything. but it's more than anyone else has seen of him here. ） That has nothing to do with being useful — yet it does have value to me.
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A decade...? Why?
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That is not relevant to our discussion.
（ ew, don't be sad for him. he was making a point!! ）
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Isn't it? That it would be someone like me...after so long... That has value, too.
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Then consider that perhaps I have no desire to share my reasons.
（ look he can be honest about that too. if... blunt. ）
My point is that if you focus only on where and how you are useful to others, you overlook the moments that matter for other reasons.
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Yet...I won't find them...if I'm not out trying to do what I can. I can't know them...until they're there.
Sitting across from me.
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