（ he likes finn well enough, but he does not wish him having a viewscreen into his brain. blue at least he is aware he can — tolerate. if there is a need. ）
（ no concern eddies the mirror-sheen surface of their connection. he is not worried — pushing blue physically and pushing him mentally are two very different things. he is only curious. ）
I have spent much of my life around those with considerable power. Does your ego require stroking, that you would ask me to elaborate more specifically?
（ his words are not chosen quite as carefully, quite as inoffensively as when that slight barrier of thinking before speech exists.
this is conversation and he's rawdogging it, whoops. ）
It is more that...I don't know of many worlds out there who possess this kind of power or communication. Whether or not it's unique, or...takes a great deal of power...
Then I misunderstood you. I was speaking generally, given our past experiences of each other. I had a sound idea of your strength the first time you entered my dreams.
（ however... ）
There is a clan of individuals in my world who specialize in this form of communication. I worked with one for a time.
（ a yamanaka woman, a veteran of the third war whose name he had not troubled himself to know. no one in anbu addressed each other thusly when in combat, and he had never seen her outside of it. ）
['sound idea,' huh. that'd be more than Blue has of late regarding his own limitations. all he knows for certain is it seems to be less and less by the month.]
（ it is not defensive. curiosity curls around the question like a cat wending its way between feet, insistent for attention while simultaneously prepared to shy away from it. ）
What little you've spoken of the way your world works...the number of conflicts... It seems as though lines are drawn pretty starkly between these clans.
Or was that wrong? Was it...the wealthy against the laborers? [you got some bougie friends, Itachi?]
No. It seems I have given you an incomplete impression.
（ mostly bc he is a filthy liar of omission, oop. ）
Villages are comprised of many clans. The one I spoke of is loyal to Konoha, as mine is.
（ he is lucky that this conversation has gone on now for some time, it has given him a better gauge of the bulwark needed to keep his emotions from bleeding through. and it has also made him a more capable liar in this realm — there is no indication that his clan's loyalty was ever in question, nor his own feelings towards them. ）
Yes. It is our duty to put our loyalty to our village and country above whatever interpersonal relationships our clans may have with one another. My village was founded by two clans that had warred for decades, and set it aside in the name of peace.
（ casually not admitting one of them is his own. he has not said the name uchiha here, and will not. it is his to hold, close against his chest like the press of a knife. ）
Is your confusion that I would willingly submit to association with telepaths?
It seems to be human nature to be so guarded against communication like this. Fearful, even.
Perhaps it is justified. Any power has the potential to be corrupted...but I don't know if it is corrupt at the onset.
Even so... [even so, fear of the unknown is natural. and even in knowing it...not everyone is keen to keep company with those who can perceive feelings so naturally. as though...those feelings would somehow no longer belong to them, even when they truly are.
perhaps if Blue had memories of a human life, it'd be easier to empathize, but he's been estranged for so long. it's why it was Jomy who reached out to humanity, to appeal the Mu case.]
To have that stripped away, to know that your autonomy and privacy hinges on the goodwill of one that can crush you in an instant...
（ if blue were to think he is speaking from a place of fear — let him disabuse you of the notion. he is the thing that claws into people's minds. he is the knife that takes them apart, that peels back skin and muscle and bone until he is in the marrow of a person. the one who stands at the shores of a black river and holds their head beneath the water as seconds tick by, controlled more by him than by the inexorability of time.
he is the monster. so no — there is no fear, but there is something like darkness that washes against his thoughts like the first rolling wave of a coming fog. ）
There is no comfort or relief in being known against one's will, only fear.
[even if fear isn't what's radiating from that darkness, Blue can't help but wonder if it's there all the same. you can only speak to what you know of, after all.
against one's will...]
That really is...how it began. [...] I understand what you're saying.
（ his fears were simpler things. fear for sasuke. fear that he may not live long enough to be of benefit to his brother's continued existence. fear that danzō, no longer held in check by sarutobi hiruzen, would renege on the deal that saw the uchiha buried in a mass grave. he was always afraid of something, but he cannot recall the last time he felt it for himself. sorrow and grief were the strangling vines of his emotions, oceans so deep there was nothing left beneath their crushing weight that could survive the pressure. together they are a bleak, yawning, endless thing that stretches out beneath a sun that gives no heat to the world, and precious little light.
he was not afraid of battle, of the possibility of being understood as a spy, of being tortured or taken apart. he knew there was only one fight in his life he would ever lose — a matter of will more than skill or talent. he would not have allowed himself to fail before sasuke killed him. ）
For what it is worth, I appreciate that you have attempted to curtail your abilities around me.
I figured that was the case. Otherwise, we wouldn't converse nearly as much as we do, I think. [window pane reflections aren't entirely risk management, you know.]
（ that thought goes amorphous, unfinished. it is unusual for him, he means. to bond, to connect, to crave. there is a part of him, one that is lost and has been so for many years, that is desperate for blue's gentleness even as he holds him at arm's length, well aware of how deeply undeserving of it he truly is. it is... a curious dichotomy within himself — one that has never before required redress. he is self-aware enough to know of its existence, and simultaneously entirely willing to turn a blind eye to the position it has put him in, to the fact that he is using blue to grasp at old feelings. it is almost an act of sacrifice, slitting someone's throat just to be warmed by the blood. the altar is his own anguish, lived-in and meteoric. ）
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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（ he likes finn well enough, but he does not wish him having a viewscreen into his brain. blue at least he is aware he can — tolerate. if there is a need. ）
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（ he won't downplay it. however — ）
However, you are doing most of the work. I am simply focusing on being heard.
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That initial call...that should be the worst of it. Now that I'm focused on you, I can handle the rest easily as listening.
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（ no concern eddies the mirror-sheen surface of their connection. he is not worried — pushing blue physically and pushing him mentally are two very different things. he is only curious. ）
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（ something nebulous threads through the connection, like sunlight dappling through leaves. it may not immediately register as amusement, but it is. ）
I have some estimation of your strength, after all.
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（ his words are not chosen quite as carefully, quite as inoffensively as when that slight barrier of thinking before speech exists.
this is conversation and he's rawdogging it, whoops. ）
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Then I misunderstood you. I was speaking generally, given our past experiences of each other. I had a sound idea of your strength the first time you entered my dreams.
（ however... ）
There is a clan of individuals in my world who specialize in this form of communication. I worked with one for a time.
（ a yamanaka woman, a veteran of the third war whose name he had not troubled himself to know. no one in anbu addressed each other thusly when in combat, and he had never seen her outside of it. ）
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Not of your homeland, I assume?
Does that make them your enemies?
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（ it is not defensive. curiosity curls around the question like a cat wending its way between feet, insistent for attention while simultaneously prepared to shy away from it. ）
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Or was that wrong? Was it...the wealthy against the laborers? [you got some bougie friends, Itachi?]
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（ mostly bc he is a filthy liar of omission, oop. ）
Villages are comprised of many clans. The one I spoke of is loyal to Konoha, as mine is.
（ he is lucky that this conversation has gone on now for some time, it has given him a better gauge of the bulwark needed to keep his emotions from bleeding through. and it has also made him a more capable liar in this realm — there is no indication that his clan's loyalty was ever in question, nor his own feelings towards them. ）
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So despite the differences one clan may have from another...they coexist in one place?
[...]
That isn't so strange, given where we are. I wonder how long I will be surprised to learn it's true elsewhere...?
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（ casually not admitting one of them is his own. he has not said the name uchiha here, and will not. it is his to hold, close against his chest like the press of a knife. ）
Is your confusion that I would willingly submit to association with telepaths?
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It seems to be human nature to be so guarded against communication like this. Fearful, even.
Perhaps it is justified. Any power has the potential to be corrupted...but I don't know if it is corrupt at the onset.
Even so... [even so, fear of the unknown is natural. and even in knowing it...not everyone is keen to keep company with those who can perceive feelings so naturally. as though...those feelings would somehow no longer belong to them, even when they truly are.
perhaps if Blue had memories of a human life, it'd be easier to empathize, but he's been estranged for so long. it's why it was Jomy who reached out to humanity, to appeal the Mu case.]
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To have that stripped away, to know that your autonomy and privacy hinges on the goodwill of one that can crush you in an instant...
（ if blue were to think he is speaking from a place of fear — let him disabuse you of the notion. he is the thing that claws into people's minds. he is the knife that takes them apart, that peels back skin and muscle and bone until he is in the marrow of a person. the one who stands at the shores of a black river and holds their head beneath the water as seconds tick by, controlled more by him than by the inexorability of time.
he is the monster. so no — there is no fear, but there is something like darkness that washes against his thoughts like the first rolling wave of a coming fog. ）
There is no comfort or relief in being known against one's will, only fear.
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against one's will...]
That really is...how it began. [...] I understand what you're saying.
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he was not afraid of battle, of the possibility of being understood as a spy, of being tortured or taken apart. he knew there was only one fight in his life he would ever lose — a matter of will more than skill or talent. he would not have allowed himself to fail before sasuke killed him. ）
For what it is worth, I appreciate that you have attempted to curtail your abilities around me.
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（ that thought goes amorphous, unfinished. it is unusual for him, he means. to bond, to connect, to crave. there is a part of him, one that is lost and has been so for many years, that is desperate for blue's gentleness even as he holds him at arm's length, well aware of how deeply undeserving of it he truly is. it is... a curious dichotomy within himself — one that has never before required redress. he is self-aware enough to know of its existence, and simultaneously entirely willing to turn a blind eye to the position it has put him in, to the fact that he is using blue to grasp at old feelings. it is almost an act of sacrifice, slitting someone's throat just to be warmed by the blood. the altar is his own anguish, lived-in and meteoric. ）
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All the more important, in that case.
You may contact me this way whenever you wish. [...] Though...it may yield strange results when I am asleep. I can't be certain.
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Strange in what respect?
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