[ Those words urge him on, and impatient as he is, he's still careful, focused, being as considerate to Blue as he can. As turned on and eager as he is, what Yzak also is inside is a romantic little softy that likewise wants to do right by Blue, both here and on the outside. His hand can't help but grope needily when that hand glides higher over his ass, a low groan vibrating in Yzak's throat. Coating his erection as well as his fingers, he slips one in, quick but mindful, leaning down close to Blue's face. ]
Is it okay?
[ He's flushed, looking for that assurance to continue, which he'll do with fervor. He tips his head in to kiss the side of Blue's mouth as his fingers work, breathlessly sighing against it. ]
[he gets a soft affirmative in the midst of a little, shuddering breath. it's an unfamiliar act wrapped up in familiar feelings, strange to encounter but welcome to embrace. one of his idle hands moves to the back of Yzak's head, to thread through his hair again while kissing him, gradually relaxing through the work of Yzak's fingers.
it's okay. it's better than that, being able to sate Yzak's needs like this. it's...
it's a dream, isn't it? lucidity starts to settle in, the awareness of himself, and how...something like this...
[ He's not the only one who's going to wonder that, honestly.
But not right now, because this is now, and when Yzak hears that affirmative little breath come from Blue, he's removing fingers and shifting his hips. He breaks the kiss for the couple of beats it takes to reach down and take his dick, slowly sliding it into Blue. And as he leans back in to kiss him again, he muffles a desperately heavy groan against his lips.
He feels the spread of satisfaction run across his whole body then, so when Blue's fingers comb into his hair it sends a jolt of heat down the back of his neck; he shivers, hairs standing on end. ]
[Blue holds his breath, taking in both Yzak and the bracing feeling that comes with it. his face flushes anew, body warming up again for him. equating discomfort to pleasure isn't something Blue's been able to do before, but the understanding is here now.
despite breathing out in a whimper, the fingers that had clenched in Yzak's hair relax, the rest of him following as he adjusts to Yzak's girth. the lengths...at which people seek to connect...to be close...it's a little overwhelming, even in this space; Blue may not be as guarded in his thoughts, but with his growing discontent with his own body, it's something strange to feel it be desired so much - this much.
that confusion bubbles up in a faint whisper:] You really...want someone like me...like this...?
[ He braces himself with one hand next to Blue's head on the bed as he moves, slowly at first, pulling his hips back and then snapping them forward again. Ironically at the subject at hand here, the subconscious is still careful in the way where it's aware of Blue's physical condition, as well as the fact that he's a Coordinator. So there's some restraint to his movements. Not enough that every thrust doesn't send flashes of heat through his body, because it already feels so good.
His other hand rests on Blue's shoulder and he pulls in a breath, pausing and staring down at him when he asks that. ]
That - I'd have assumed that was obvious by now...
[ Mirroring him, that hand on his shoulder moves up to cup his face as well. He moves in, nose to nose, staring deep into Blue's eyes. ]
Never doubt something like that ... with me.
[ Someone who groused and complained about mistletoe and how he'd never just so much as kiss someone casually, not if there weren't any serious feelings there. Blue can tell that there's not any shred of doubt within Yzak himself when he assures him of that.
And he's otherwise helpless to that request not to stop, after that. He resumes, harder now in his thrusting, because he wants to show Blue, too, that yes, he wants him this much. That hand moves from his face so Yzak can bury his own into the crook of Blue's neck, the friction and heat from inside him drawing Yzak's breath right out of him. He lets out another thick, throaty sound hot against his skin, barely muffled, because why would Yzak try to be quiet about it? ]
[Blue's panting is peppered with soft whimpers and little moans, soaking in Yzak's heightened passion. the way it becomes something so natural, so instinctive when it's something new to him...it's remarkable, and it feels distinct from when Yzak had made him come. distinct...but still drawing from the same well of attraction and desire. there's so much here to learn, to understand...and more than a few missing pieces of the puzzle fall into place as he feels this figment of his body burning for Yzak's.
each impact sends a jolt of shuddering pleasure, compounded by feeling Yzak's mounting expectation. Blue sinks into these sensations, giving up restraint, vocalizing as he needs to, gripping how he must, and breathing out Yzak's name in the midst of climax.]
[ Every sound Blue gasps out, every grasp he reaches for drives him closer to the edge. Yzak lets out shorter, deeper groans in between planting kisses up Blue's neck, along his jaw just beneath his ear. Each time he pushes himself into Blue, it's harder, more desperate than the last, and as Blue reaches and grips in response to his movements, at one point he reaches back, pinning one of his hands over his head and lacing their fingers together.
All that runs through his mind is how good this feels; the brushes of Blue's hair against his face when he leans in close to him, this tight warmth, the way every little breath he lets out hits his skin and sends a spark of pleasure through him. It's not just the physical that's good, either, but Blue's voice in mind, both encouraging Yzak as well as his own affirmations of satisfaction, that he likes this, that he wants this and with him. (the fact that he seldom dreams like this, but Blue's been on his mind so much lately that it was inevitable)
Yzak trembles when he comes, that delightful heat building up in his body finally getting a powerful release. That hand holding Blue's squeezes, tight and as involuntary as those last couple of hard thrusts into him. He gasps out Blue's name in turn, pressing his face against his neck and heaving out a few short, breathy pants thereafter, enjoying that feeling as that built up delight rolls through and out of him completely. ]
[in the midst of all that, lucidity truly settles in. while getting lost in Yzak as he's lost in him, Blue becomes aware that this? this is a dream. that in sleeping, they had become entangled, drawn together by the resonance of their mutual wants to connect. that fascination for the fiery, human passion had let Blue meld so easily to suit Yzak's needs, and in those needs Blue found some of his own.
his breathing matches pace with Yzak's as the man comes down from his high, their fingers still tightly laced together, the weight of him settling atop him so heavy and secure, that sensation of him still in him...
his other arm wound around Yzak's back shifts so his hand can move up his back and rest between his shoulders, holding him close, wishing for this connection to last, even as his waking heart fears it'll be forgotten. each little kiss he presses to Yzak's forehead is another little hope he can impress the goodness of now into the man's guarded, doubtful heart.]
[ It takes a couple of moments to catch his breath, let his heart settle, Blue's arm around him and the soft press of lips to his forehead keeping Yzak grounded in the moment. He shifts ever so slightly to pull out of Blue and more comfortably press his body to his, squeezing his hand in a content response to those kisses and tilting his head into it. ]
... as if I'd forget.
[ He murmurs back with that tone of assurance he's always so good at putting forward. Because it's the sort that he actually feels assured about. How could he not remember something like this? Something so nice ... with someone like him ... with these feelings that only keep growing.
Shifting once more so he can nuzzle gently into Blue's hair, Yzak's eyes drift shut as he inhales deeply, taking in his scent...
When he exhales and blinks his eyes open again, he's still there embracing Blue, under the covers of the bed of the inn. His eyelids feel heavy, as if he's just waking up, but ... he's been awake in here, hasn't he? Both of them...
Sleepy blue eyes focus on the frail, beautiful form next to him, as dreams and reality still feel intertwined, only starting to unravel. ]
[here in the waking world, Blue's body's shifted and curled into the embrace Yzak had sleepily reached for. he's still warm - both of them, still warm - and Yzak's breath against his neck is a soothing tickle.
he can feel it: the working of Yzak's mind, that Coordinator cadence that's so distinct from others, working to fit pieces together. to guess...and second-guess. no wonder doubt is such a familiar resident of his heart.
to that end, Blue stirs, untucking his hand from under his pillow to seek out Yzak's hand at rest around his waist, to rest on top of it. even at the threshold of whatever conclusions and reevaluations Yzak's waking mind will start to concoct, Blue can't help but feel grateful. he remembers.
but...will remembering only lead him to fear? such an intimate, unknown circumstance...]
I was there, too. [just to cut off any illusion that Yzak might think it was his own wishful dreaming.]
And what I had said...I meant it.
[slowly, he opens his eyes, still fighting his body to wake up with his mind. slowly, his head turns a little so he can see Yzak there.]
[ Everything still feels so warm and comfortable that Yzak naturally wants to hold on to that feeling. Waking up next to someone like this ... is something so new for him that there's a part of his mind that's glad about what happened the night before to bring them here.
But waking and clarity is something that comes quick to someone like Yzak, and despite the soft hand over his that he doesn't want to pull away from, things start to click together. It was a dream. It was a dream. A dream so hot and intense that his body still feels the phantom tingle from it, and...
I was there, too.
Instant realization because Yzak is well aware of the things Blue can do where dreams are concerned. That...
Does that mean...
He was...
There's also the fact that Yzak is realizing the dream turned him on in waking. And, he's a man, he's woken up like this plenty of times before, that much isn't surprising. But after a dream like that, with a dream-hopping psychic who was there- who ... joined him? Usually he wakes up alone like this, not with his arms around that very subject of his desire. ]
W - wh - huuuuuuh!?
[ Panic comes quickly and reflexively. He's too modest, too embarrassed when it comes to this sort of thing that it's not even doubt or fear that causes him to react like this. Yzak jolts, sitting upright as he turns redder than he did even in those moments of passion in the dream. ]
[ah-- there it is. there's really no buffering for that, is there? especially not in such a...unique circumstance. Blue just has to brace and bear it, squeezing his eyes shut and tensing up against it.
should he apologize, he wonders? was it something...to be sorry about? crossing that boundary, even though they both thoughtlessly pursued a shared want... he did realize it first...and didn't stop.
[ Sorry, Blue, for the onslaught of a million things running through Yzak's mind. He remembers the dream so vividly ... which he'll come around to be lowkey glad for as well, as Blue hoped for him. But Blue was there, too. Like, there there ... does that mean he scored? Does it count if it's like that? Does it matter? To someone who's always cut himself off from simple feelings of affection who's now here, it's something that jumps into his mind whether he wants it to or not. The way Yzak's body seems to reject the way he sits up because it didn't want to move, wanted to remain where it was in that warm embrace, somehow it feels like he's quickly approaching a line he won't be able to easily cross back from. And that's frightening too in its own way.
He notes the way Blue reacts, he instantly feels confused, guilty for causing it, because of how gentle, how reassuring his words were just moments before. He knows, he knows and yet, that can only do so much right now in this very reactive moment.
He needs a minute. He needs a couple of minutes to get his head on straight. Not just get his head on straight, but to calm down because to have this kind of wild reaction with an erection is really weird. ]
I ... I need to go and take a shower really quick...!
[ As he scrambles to his feet. At least Blue can tell why he needs a couple of minutes, that he feels apologetic himself right now. The shower will help.
[Blue doesn't stop him. distance...weird as it seems to him, can help, especially when it comes to matters of disentangling one's feelings that were so tightly woven together with someone else's in such a strong way. such a...visceral way, even; Yzak's not the only one left bodily wanting, after all.
the Mu sits up slowly, taking account for the regular discomforts ever-present on top of this residual feeling. it's...stronger than it was when embracing Jim, when dozing with Finn... the connections bodies make are more complex and layered than he'd have given them credit for; he's more conditioned by the sterile, edgeless society he was born into and ultimately cast from than he is consciously aware of. people...really gave this kind of raw connection up...?
again, he asks himself: should he apologize? does he want to? does he regret...?
...no. no, he doesn't regret it. not right now. not unless...he's really hurt Yzak irrecoverably. right now, the buzz and fluster from the washroom is...it's concerning, yes, but...did he hurt him?
slowly, he turns to sit up, legs dangling over the edge of the bed, grimacing with a jolt of discomfort - new discomfort. it's as if...Yzak hadn't finished him off at all... that tensed-up feeling is terrible, but he bears it while changing into dayclothes - not the skirt, not the blouse. it'd be too heavy a hit, he thinks, given the way Yzak had dreamed him up.]
[ There sure is a lot of buzz coming from the washroom. All about thus easily able to picked up by Blue - Yzak recalling that dream over and over, those images, the words spoken, how real everything felt and how good it was. He has similar thoughts to the ones Blue has ... a worried second guessing, should he apologize for how god damned horny his subconscious is? Does he regret that, dream or not?
He doesn't. He doesn't regret it either. If anything it's the flustered, awkward excitement of a first time (??? is it a first time though) and all that comes with it.
(including that self conscious wonder of, was he good at that? If it was a dream, probably. But would he be able to cause those sorts of reactions in Blue in waking?
He tries not to indulge in that thought too deeply, because he's trying to calm down here, not get more excited)
The shower does help calm him down some, lets him focus a little better. And when he finally comes back out into their room he's in his fancy doctor wear sans the vest, hair damp. He looks over to Blue, opens his mouth, ]
Ah- um...
[ He's quickly going red again, pressing the back of his hand over his mouth. What the hell can he say right now?
What happened to that cool guy from the dream? Bring him back, this one sucks. ]
[it's comforting that in some ways, they have similar minds about it. the curiosity, the strange little thrills of reflecting on it, knowing they were in sync the way they were. maybe Blue's a bit too happy to know Yzak's not repulsed...
when focus is back on him in the present, not just those recollections, he turns his head and looks over, his own face still a little flushed, but...lucid. aware. even a little uncertain, because...well. it's Yzak. things can pivot in unexpected ways without warning.]
Is it...something you want to talk about? Or is it too soon to say.
[ He sucks in a little breath. Blue can read him either way, even if he says something else outloud, tries to make something sound more or less important than he feels it is. ]
Look, it's - embarrassing enough, okay? Just to have a dream like that! And then to have it...
[embarrassing? Blue's eyebrows lift, but he doesn't offer a comment on that, instead just answering Yzak's question while turning his head away, facing the window.]
I've been in a dream of yours before. [...] You likely don't remember.
Either way... When there's enough emotional resonance, it seems...I find myself there. With others.
[....AN ADDENDUM:] Not in that specific sense. That...was new.
[ Embarrassing for him and his horny ass with too much shame.
Enough emotional resonance. Hearing that, Yzak feels a lightness in his chest. That's a good thing, right? He idly wonders what other dream Blue saw. But he files that away for now, because when Blue adds that addendum, he becomes even more aware of his own face burning slightly again. New for him, huh. ]
So it just - happens?
[ He feels some awkwardness rebubble up in him. ] And of all the things to have to end up seeing...! [ Then, half stammered: ] Or not just ... seeing?
I don't have...precise answers for you from here, Yzak. I never...physically connected with anyone before...to that scale. [...] It wasn't just...embracing a feeling alone. There was more to it.
[because they wanted more to it, because it wasn't just about feelings.]
It's fine. [ He asks because he's still feeling a little thrown. Overwhelmed.
His eyes shift down to the ground, and then up over to Blue. ] I've... never done that before, either, obviously! Even like that. [ As in, even his dreams usually aren't so focused, so full of desire for someone else, so ... much.
He breathes out a breath he barely realized he was holding. ]
Was it just mine?
Or did you actually ... want to dream that yourself, too?
[it's a little hard to be in this position, where Blue wants time to really think out his answers and what's behind them, but feeling Yzak's struggle to come to his own conclusions - ones he'll make rapidly whether he means to or not, given his nature, and any hesitation or silence from Blue would inevitably inform some fresh doubt.
in a way, it's good though, isn't it? teaching him to trust his instincts in the moment, instead of quiet rumination.]
I don't know if I could want...what I didn't know how to want. [he looks over his shoulder again.]
I do know...I wanted to kiss you again. That must've been the thru-line.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Is it okay?
[ He's flushed, looking for that assurance to continue, which he'll do with fervor. He tips his head in to kiss the side of Blue's mouth as his fingers work, breathlessly sighing against it. ]
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it's okay. it's better than that, being able to sate Yzak's needs like this. it's...
it's a dream, isn't it? lucidity starts to settle in, the awareness of himself, and how...something like this...
is it even possible anymore?]
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But not right now, because this is now, and when Yzak hears that affirmative little breath come from Blue, he's removing fingers and shifting his hips. He breaks the kiss for the couple of beats it takes to reach down and take his dick, slowly sliding it into Blue. And as he leans back in to kiss him again, he muffles a desperately heavy groan against his lips.
He feels the spread of satisfaction run across his whole body then, so when Blue's fingers comb into his hair it sends a jolt of heat down the back of his neck; he shivers, hairs standing on end. ]
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[Blue holds his breath, taking in both Yzak and the bracing feeling that comes with it. his face flushes anew, body warming up again for him. equating discomfort to pleasure isn't something Blue's been able to do before, but the understanding is here now.
despite breathing out in a whimper, the fingers that had clenched in Yzak's hair relax, the rest of him following as he adjusts to Yzak's girth. the lengths...at which people seek to connect...to be close...it's a little overwhelming, even in this space; Blue may not be as guarded in his thoughts, but with his growing discontent with his own body, it's something strange to feel it be desired so much - this much.
that confusion bubbles up in a faint whisper:] You really...want someone like me...like this...?
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His other hand rests on Blue's shoulder and he pulls in a breath, pausing and staring down at him when he asks that. ]
That - I'd have assumed that was obvious by now...
[ Why wouldn't he? ]
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[he draws in a steadying breath, bringing his hand from Yzak's hair to his cheek, tender, affectionate.]
Thank you. Don't stop.
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Never doubt something like that ... with me.
[ Someone who groused and complained about mistletoe and how he'd never just so much as kiss someone casually, not if there weren't any serious feelings there. Blue can tell that there's not any shred of doubt within Yzak himself when he assures him of that.
And he's otherwise helpless to that request not to stop, after that. He resumes, harder now in his thrusting, because he wants to show Blue, too, that yes, he wants him this much. That hand moves from his face so Yzak can bury his own into the crook of Blue's neck, the friction and heat from inside him drawing Yzak's breath right out of him. He lets out another thick, throaty sound hot against his skin, barely muffled, because why would Yzak try to be quiet about it? ]
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each impact sends a jolt of shuddering pleasure, compounded by feeling Yzak's mounting expectation. Blue sinks into these sensations, giving up restraint, vocalizing as he needs to, gripping how he must, and breathing out Yzak's name in the midst of climax.]
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All that runs through his mind is how good this feels; the brushes of Blue's hair against his face when he leans in close to him, this tight warmth, the way every little breath he lets out hits his skin and sends a spark of pleasure through him. It's not just the physical that's good, either, but Blue's voice in mind, both encouraging Yzak as well as his own affirmations of satisfaction, that he likes this, that he wants this and with him. (the fact that he seldom dreams like this, but Blue's been on his mind so much lately that it was inevitable)
Yzak trembles when he comes, that delightful heat building up in his body finally getting a powerful release. That hand holding Blue's squeezes, tight and as involuntary as those last couple of hard thrusts into him. He gasps out Blue's name in turn, pressing his face against his neck and heaving out a few short, breathy pants thereafter, enjoying that feeling as that built up delight rolls through and out of him completely. ]
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his breathing matches pace with Yzak's as the man comes down from his high, their fingers still tightly laced together, the weight of him settling atop him so heavy and secure, that sensation of him still in him...
his other arm wound around Yzak's back shifts so his hand can move up his back and rest between his shoulders, holding him close, wishing for this connection to last, even as his waking heart fears it'll be forgotten. each little kiss he presses to Yzak's forehead is another little hope he can impress the goodness of now into the man's guarded, doubtful heart.]
I hope...you remember this.
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... as if I'd forget.
[ He murmurs back with that tone of assurance he's always so good at putting forward. Because it's the sort that he actually feels assured about. How could he not remember something like this? Something so nice ... with someone like him ... with these feelings that only keep growing.
Shifting once more so he can nuzzle gently into Blue's hair, Yzak's eyes drift shut as he inhales deeply, taking in his scent...
When he exhales and blinks his eyes open again, he's still there embracing Blue, under the covers of the bed of the inn. His eyelids feel heavy, as if he's just waking up, but ... he's been awake in here, hasn't he? Both of them...
Sleepy blue eyes focus on the frail, beautiful form next to him, as dreams and reality still feel intertwined, only starting to unravel. ]
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he can feel it: the working of Yzak's mind, that Coordinator cadence that's so distinct from others, working to fit pieces together. to guess...and second-guess. no wonder doubt is such a familiar resident of his heart.
to that end, Blue stirs, untucking his hand from under his pillow to seek out Yzak's hand at rest around his waist, to rest on top of it. even at the threshold of whatever conclusions and reevaluations Yzak's waking mind will start to concoct, Blue can't help but feel grateful. he remembers.
but...will remembering only lead him to fear? such an intimate, unknown circumstance...]
I was there, too. [just to cut off any illusion that Yzak might think it was his own wishful dreaming.]
And what I had said...I meant it.
[slowly, he opens his eyes, still fighting his body to wake up with his mind. slowly, his head turns a little so he can see Yzak there.]
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But waking and clarity is something that comes quick to someone like Yzak, and despite the soft hand over his that he doesn't want to pull away from, things start to click together. It was a dream. It was a dream. A dream so hot and intense that his body still feels the phantom tingle from it, and...
I was there, too.
Instant realization because Yzak is well aware of the things Blue can do where dreams are concerned. That...
Does that mean...
He was...
There's also the fact that Yzak is realizing the dream turned him on in waking. And, he's a man, he's woken up like this plenty of times before, that much isn't surprising. But after a dream like that, with a dream-hopping psychic who was there- who ... joined him? Usually he wakes up alone like this, not with his arms around that very subject of his desire. ]
W - wh - huuuuuuh!?
[ Panic comes quickly and reflexively. He's too modest, too embarrassed when it comes to this sort of thing that it's not even doubt or fear that causes him to react like this. Yzak jolts, sitting upright as he turns redder than he did even in those moments of passion in the dream. ]
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should he apologize, he wonders? was it something...to be sorry about? crossing that boundary, even though they both thoughtlessly pursued a shared want... he did realize it first...and didn't stop.
was that wrong?]
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He notes the way Blue reacts, he instantly feels confused, guilty for causing it, because of how gentle, how reassuring his words were just moments before. He knows, he knows and yet, that can only do so much right now in this very reactive moment.
He needs a minute. He needs a couple of minutes to get his head on straight. Not just get his head on straight, but to calm down because to have this kind of wild reaction with an erection is really weird. ]
I ... I need to go and take a shower really quick...!
[ As he scrambles to his feet. At least Blue can tell why he needs a couple of minutes, that he feels apologetic himself right now. The shower will help.
Nice cold cold shower. ]
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the Mu sits up slowly, taking account for the regular discomforts ever-present on top of this residual feeling. it's...stronger than it was when embracing Jim, when dozing with Finn... the connections bodies make are more complex and layered than he'd have given them credit for; he's more conditioned by the sterile, edgeless society he was born into and ultimately cast from than he is consciously aware of. people...really gave this kind of raw connection up...?
again, he asks himself: should he apologize? does he want to? does he regret...?
...no. no, he doesn't regret it. not right now. not unless...he's really hurt Yzak irrecoverably. right now, the buzz and fluster from the washroom is...it's concerning, yes, but...did he hurt him?
slowly, he turns to sit up, legs dangling over the edge of the bed, grimacing with a jolt of discomfort - new discomfort. it's as if...Yzak hadn't finished him off at all... that tensed-up feeling is terrible, but he bears it while changing into dayclothes - not the skirt, not the blouse. it'd be too heavy a hit, he thinks, given the way Yzak had dreamed him up.]
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He doesn't. He doesn't regret it either. If anything it's the flustered, awkward excitement of a first time (??? is it a first time though) and all that comes with it.
(including that self conscious wonder of, was he good at that? If it was a dream, probably. But would he be able to cause those sorts of reactions in Blue in waking?
He tries not to indulge in that thought too deeply, because he's trying to calm down here, not get more excited)
The shower does help calm him down some, lets him focus a little better. And when he finally comes back out into their room he's in his fancy doctor wear sans the vest, hair damp. He looks over to Blue, opens his mouth, ]
Ah- um...
[ He's quickly going red again, pressing the back of his hand over his mouth. What the hell can he say right now?
What happened to that cool guy from the dream? Bring him back, this one sucks. ]
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when focus is back on him in the present, not just those recollections, he turns his head and looks over, his own face still a little flushed, but...lucid. aware. even a little uncertain, because...well. it's Yzak. things can pivot in unexpected ways without warning.]
Is it...something you want to talk about? Or is it too soon to say.
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[ He sucks in a little breath. Blue can read him either way, even if he says something else outloud, tries to make something sound more or less important than he feels it is. ]
Look, it's - embarrassing enough, okay? Just to have a dream like that! And then to have it...
... with you.
Does that ... happen often?
[ Asked more as a curiosity. ]
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I've been in a dream of yours before. [...] You likely don't remember.
Either way... When there's enough emotional resonance, it seems...I find myself there. With others.
[....AN ADDENDUM:] Not in that specific sense. That...was new.
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Enough emotional resonance. Hearing that, Yzak feels a lightness in his chest. That's a good thing, right? He idly wonders what other dream Blue saw. But he files that away for now, because when Blue adds that addendum, he becomes even more aware of his own face burning slightly again. New for him, huh. ]
So it just - happens?
[ He feels some awkwardness rebubble up in him. ] And of all the things to have to end up seeing...! [ Then, half stammered: ] Or not just ... seeing?
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I don't have...precise answers for you from here, Yzak. I never...physically connected with anyone before...to that scale. [...] It wasn't just...embracing a feeling alone. There was more to it.
[because they wanted more to it, because it wasn't just about feelings.]
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His eyes shift down to the ground, and then up over to Blue. ] I've... never done that before, either, obviously! Even like that. [ As in, even his dreams usually aren't so focused, so full of desire for someone else, so ... much.
He breathes out a breath he barely realized he was holding. ]
Was it just mine?
Or did you actually ... want to dream that yourself, too?
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in a way, it's good though, isn't it? teaching him to trust his instincts in the moment, instead of quiet rumination.]
I don't know if I could want...what I didn't know how to want. [he looks over his shoulder again.]
I do know...I wanted to kiss you again. That must've been the thru-line.
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That was a lot more than that...
I mean - I think. Does that ... does that even count!?
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